Swimming in the Dark by Tomasz Jedrowski is my first dive into the modern gay novel. It was recommended by Nick, an editor on Twitter, who prompted my interest. Jedrowski delivers a tender story of forbidden love against the backdrop of socialist Poland in 1980.
As it was Pride month in June, I wanted to expand my knowledge of gay novels. My previous dip into this very deep pool was limited to Virginia Woolf and other dead poets and authors.
Reading to develop empathy
Reading develops empathy towards lives known to us, but not fully understood. Exploring this novel makes me want to read more stories about how it feels to love people that some find difficult to accept.
I understand why Swimming in the Dark is an instant classic. It captures the pain and suffering of first love exquisitely in this sensual novel.
Story
Ludwik is a shy, anxious student sent to an agricultural camp for the summer with the rest of his class. At the camp, he meets Janusz who displays a quiet confidence that Ludwik is drawn to. Their relationship liberates Ludwik and together they spend a heady summer exploring their love away from the watchful citizens of Warsaw.
When they return to the city, the lives of the two students diverge. The Party dominate everything, and to live as gay men is dangerous. Janusz is seduced by the wealthy inhabitants of Warsaw, and he enjoys the benefits of their privilege and power.
Meanwhile, Ludwik is haunted by memories of his mother and angered by the realities of food lines and lack of opportunity. The propaganda makes people afraid to express how they truly feel.
The story feels bittersweet as the protagonists struggle to continue their care-free existence in the confines of the real world. While Ludwik longs for escape, Janusz is more pragmatic and surrenders to society’s expectations.
Throughout the novel, the sense of longing for acceptance is tempered with the realities of the regime in which the characters live. We are left wondering if these two lovers would find acceptance if they lived in a different place and time.
‘I wanted to cease existng. I wanted to un-be.’ (Swimming in the Dark)
If you want to relive the torment of first love, this book will transport you there. If you’d like to read other book reviews, click here.